Wednesday, February 9, 2011
PARENTING FLOP
Though we count our blessings daily (1.Laura, 2.Ellie, 3.Jessie, and 4.Caleb), I don't really need to tell you that parenting is hard work. More than anything else we want to do a good job raising our kids...giving them a solid foundation for the years that lay ahead of them. We want to teach them to make good choices (on their own accord), show love and respect for others, be honest in all their dealings with people, and follow God with all their hearts. Our biggest goal for our children is that they would love God's Word so that their lives will be filled with peace, joy, and abundant blessings from their heavenly Father. As parents (and humans with a sin nature) we often make mistakes and regret having taken certain courses of action in regards to the training and correction of our children. Other times we act out of anger or impatience, portraying a less-than-Godly example. This can be rather disheartening since we all know that our kids learn best by watching us (they "do-as-I-do" better than they "do-as-I-say"). I always find it refreshing and encouraging when other parents are honest about mistakes they have made, so I will share with you a recent parenting flop of my own.
It happened a few months back. It seemed as though I was constantly telling my girls to clean up their room. The three of them share a very small bedroom which can all too quickly become crowded and messy. As my husband so eloquently puts it, "Just drop an M&M on the floor and the place is a shambles!" After countless exercises of picking up and putting away and giving directions on where to put things, I was done. At the end of the day I walked into the bedroom to tuck them all in and found myself nearly falling to my death (exaggeration), tripping on toys just to get to the side of Laura's bed. In an uncontrolled outburst of frustration and irritation I scooped up everything from the floor and said something to the effect of "If you're not going to keep your stuff picked up then you're not responsible enough to keep it!" I stormed out of the room, arms full of stuffies (which happened to be Laura's), with shouts of "No! Mommy, NOOOOO!!!" and the patter of bare feet following close behind. It might sound funny now, but the whole scene was very disturbing. I was angry and raising my voice. Laura was completely exasperated and yelling back at me. The other girls were crying because of the commotion and the negative "energy" created by the strife...What a failure! This is exactly what God's Word instructs us not to do.
Ephesians 6:4 -- "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
It didn't take long for me to realize that I had handled the whole situation entirely wrong. I knew I needed to apologize to all the girls and also give Laura a chance to pick up her toys instead of stuffing them into a garbage bag headed for the nearest thrift store. I usually like to give my kids fair warning, you know. If I had previously told them the consequence for leaving toys all over the floor was that I would take them and get rid of them, then I would have felt justified in taking them...though never justified in the manner and emotion in which I did so. The room was not picked up because I had not yet succeeded in thoroughly training my children to do so. How utterly unfair of me to punish them for something I failed in. So far, I had trained them that they can leave stuff lying around and get away with it. It is the parents' responsibility to train their children. I once read a good quote, "There are no bad kids, just bad parenting". I think there is a lot of truth to that.
Well, here is how it ended...I wanted to go and undo the chaos I had just caused. I wanted to return Laura's stuffed animals to her and explain to them all that Mommy had acted wrongly and Jesus would never act that way. However, another dynamic was now present in the situation. Laura, being completely "provoked to wrath" by me, was now screaming in anger at me. She hurtled a few insults but was quickly stopped by Luke when he heard her yelling at me. As Luke and I privately discussed the whole situation, we decided that we could no longer return Laura's toys to her because of how she had shown such disrespect towards me. Laura was too mad to look at me as I explained how I knew I had acted wrongly and that sometimes Mommies and Daddies make wrong decisions but usually realize it and fix it later. I apologized and told her I would like to have given all her stuff back but I couldn't because of how she had acted. I prayed with her and afterward she broke down and cried even harder, apologizing for yelling at me. We hugged and we both cried tears of relief and reconciliation. All was forgiven.
The whole situation was unfortunate, but, as you can see, we learned a few things from it. I am so thankful for God's forgiveness in my life, and also that my children are so forgiving with me. It seems as though I often have to say sorry to them for something and they are always quick to forgive and embrace me. I love my little ones so much and thank God every day that He has blessed me with the privilege of being their mommy.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A TRUE LOVE STORY
This story was written for young, unmarried men and women in order to inspire confidence that God is truly faithful and that HIS Plan is the best plan for their lives.
In the year 2001, while America was experiencing the 9/11 tragedy, a young man was in Australia helping set up a new extension campus for Calvary Chapel Bible College. He was focused on serving and loving God, yet he began to get impatient. He noticed others around him who had boyfriends and girlfriends and were in the process of planning their future lives together. You see, he had patiently waited for 21 years (although, in reality, he spent 13 of those hating girls). He had never dated or had a girlfriend. He wanted to hold out and wait for God's BEST in his life.
He cried out to God as his desire for a wife grew ever stronger. "Lord", he said, "Am I really suppose to wait for You? Or should I just pick someone and trust that you'll bless me in it?" He wondered if he had missed past opportunities that the Lord had already given him. And he began to think that he was too picky--that his standards for what he wanted in a wife were too high.
As this young man was seriously considering lowering his expectations for what a wife should be, he went for a walk to talk things over with His heavenly Father. He wandered through "the bush" feeling frustrated, depressed, lonely and confused. It seemed as if God was taking forever to answer his questions. His rambling thoughts were interrupted by something small that caught his eye. He reached out and grabbed the branch it was clinging to. Curious as to what it was, he began prying it apart with his pocket knife. It was a cocoon! Desperately wanting to see what was inside, he continued to pry at its tough outer shell. Suddenly it occurred to him that in attempting to open it he would surely destroy it and, therefore, never see what was inside. It was at this moment that God clearly spoke to his heart. The answer he had been longing for. The young man understood that if he rushed to pick someone to marry, it would turn out to be a ruined mess and he would then have to figure out how to "make due" with what he was stuck with--just like the cocoon. If, however, he waited for God to bring along HIS choice of a bride, then he would truly get his beautiful butterfly. In God's perfect timing and wisdom, He affirmed His promise to the young man that he would indeed show him "the Right One"--but it would also be the right time...God's time.
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At the same time as the young man in Australia was learning to trust God and continue in prayer for his future wife, someone across the sea was also waiting on God. On the beautiful island of Kauai, Hawaii, a young woman was serving the Lord and seeking God's direction for her life. She had had so many wonderful adventures with God already! She had taken the gospel to Buddhist monks living high in the mountains of Tibet; performed gospel dramas on the streets of Tokyo, Japan; snuggled lonely orphans in her arms in Mexico; taught English (and the Bible) to students in central China...What was next? All she wanted was to be used by God for His purpose and glory. She sought Him with her whole heart as she waited.
She was staying with her close friends who lived on Kauai with their 5 young children. She was part of their family in every way. As she received godly counsel and wisdom from the parents and enjoyed every moment being a big sister to the children, she didn't realize that God was preparing her to be a wife and a mother. Many distractions came her way while there, and there was certainly no shortage of young men who took notice of her and sought her affection and attention. But she kept her eyes focused on her Lord. She had been down that path before and found it empty, dark and disappointing. From now on she would live for Jesus and seek only His best for her life.
After a year on the island, she felt the Lord calling her to return to her family in California. It was then that she began to attend Calvary Chapel Bible College, all the while putting her trust in the Lord to lead and direct her life. After the first semester of school, the Lord opened a door of opportunity for her to work at a youth camp for the summer break. At the end of the summer, she had planned to continue attending Bible College--this time in Europe. But God had different plans for her. Of course it was not a bad thing to go back to school, but she was somehow aware that it was the wrong thing to do at the time. She had no peace about continuing with school, and as she prayed and asked God for direction He opened the way for her to remain at the youth camp during the fall. Well, the best place for anyone to be is right where God wants them. Her obedience was shortly rewarded as God brought her and her future husband together at the youth camp! If you haven't already guessed, the young man to whom God brought her was the same young man who was waiting for his "butterfly"!! As they worked together and became friends at the camp, God clearly showed them that His plan was for them to be married. They sought God's will and waited for His timing in their lives. He was faithful to give them the desires of their hearts!
For a gift on our wedding day Luke gave me a necklace with a gold butterfly so that I may always remember that I am his perfect and precious butterfly (chosen by God) who was worth waiting for!
(I gave him a new handgun...but that's not really relevant to this particular story!)
In the year 2001, while America was experiencing the 9/11 tragedy, a young man was in Australia helping set up a new extension campus for Calvary Chapel Bible College. He was focused on serving and loving God, yet he began to get impatient. He noticed others around him who had boyfriends and girlfriends and were in the process of planning their future lives together. You see, he had patiently waited for 21 years (although, in reality, he spent 13 of those hating girls). He had never dated or had a girlfriend. He wanted to hold out and wait for God's BEST in his life.
He cried out to God as his desire for a wife grew ever stronger. "Lord", he said, "Am I really suppose to wait for You? Or should I just pick someone and trust that you'll bless me in it?" He wondered if he had missed past opportunities that the Lord had already given him. And he began to think that he was too picky--that his standards for what he wanted in a wife were too high.
As this young man was seriously considering lowering his expectations for what a wife should be, he went for a walk to talk things over with His heavenly Father. He wandered through "the bush" feeling frustrated, depressed, lonely and confused. It seemed as if God was taking forever to answer his questions. His rambling thoughts were interrupted by something small that caught his eye. He reached out and grabbed the branch it was clinging to. Curious as to what it was, he began prying it apart with his pocket knife. It was a cocoon! Desperately wanting to see what was inside, he continued to pry at its tough outer shell. Suddenly it occurred to him that in attempting to open it he would surely destroy it and, therefore, never see what was inside. It was at this moment that God clearly spoke to his heart. The answer he had been longing for. The young man understood that if he rushed to pick someone to marry, it would turn out to be a ruined mess and he would then have to figure out how to "make due" with what he was stuck with--just like the cocoon. If, however, he waited for God to bring along HIS choice of a bride, then he would truly get his beautiful butterfly. In God's perfect timing and wisdom, He affirmed His promise to the young man that he would indeed show him "the Right One"--but it would also be the right time...God's time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the same time as the young man in Australia was learning to trust God and continue in prayer for his future wife, someone across the sea was also waiting on God. On the beautiful island of Kauai, Hawaii, a young woman was serving the Lord and seeking God's direction for her life. She had had so many wonderful adventures with God already! She had taken the gospel to Buddhist monks living high in the mountains of Tibet; performed gospel dramas on the streets of Tokyo, Japan; snuggled lonely orphans in her arms in Mexico; taught English (and the Bible) to students in central China...What was next? All she wanted was to be used by God for His purpose and glory. She sought Him with her whole heart as she waited.
She was staying with her close friends who lived on Kauai with their 5 young children. She was part of their family in every way. As she received godly counsel and wisdom from the parents and enjoyed every moment being a big sister to the children, she didn't realize that God was preparing her to be a wife and a mother. Many distractions came her way while there, and there was certainly no shortage of young men who took notice of her and sought her affection and attention. But she kept her eyes focused on her Lord. She had been down that path before and found it empty, dark and disappointing. From now on she would live for Jesus and seek only His best for her life.
After a year on the island, she felt the Lord calling her to return to her family in California. It was then that she began to attend Calvary Chapel Bible College, all the while putting her trust in the Lord to lead and direct her life. After the first semester of school, the Lord opened a door of opportunity for her to work at a youth camp for the summer break. At the end of the summer, she had planned to continue attending Bible College--this time in Europe. But God had different plans for her. Of course it was not a bad thing to go back to school, but she was somehow aware that it was the wrong thing to do at the time. She had no peace about continuing with school, and as she prayed and asked God for direction He opened the way for her to remain at the youth camp during the fall. Well, the best place for anyone to be is right where God wants them. Her obedience was shortly rewarded as God brought her and her future husband together at the youth camp! If you haven't already guessed, the young man to whom God brought her was the same young man who was waiting for his "butterfly"!! As they worked together and became friends at the camp, God clearly showed them that His plan was for them to be married. They sought God's will and waited for His timing in their lives. He was faithful to give them the desires of their hearts!
For a gift on our wedding day Luke gave me a necklace with a gold butterfly so that I may always remember that I am his perfect and precious butterfly (chosen by God) who was worth waiting for!
(I gave him a new handgun...but that's not really relevant to this particular story!)
Monday, January 10, 2011
A THANKFUL HEART IS A HAPPY HEART
Tonight our little Jessie, who is almost 3, chose a book about "The First Thanksgiving" for her bedtime story. The story gave a brief overview of historical events (about the pilgrims and Native Americans) and then told of the importance of being thankful. The reason the Pilgrims gathered to feast with their Indian neighbors was because they were so thankful at how they had been blessed with an abundance of food after an unimaginably harsh winter (in which half of their population had died). They realized that God had provided for them through the help of the Native Americans, and they shared all they had out of hearts filled with gratitude toward their Creator and new friends.
It occurred to me as I was reading that it might be a good idea to treat every mealtime the same way we do Thanksgiving dinner. It has become the custom of our family on Thanksgiving, before we feast, to take turns telling each other what we are all thankful for. Why not do this on a daily basis? Of course we thank God for our food when we "say Grace", but I think I'd like for us to take it a bit farther than that...to make sure everyone in the family has the opportunity each day to vocalize their thankfulness. For those of you who have seen "Madame Blueberry" (Veggie Tales), you know as well as I that "a thankful heart is a happy heart!"
We'll start doing it and let you know how it goes. Of course we can give thanks at any time...not just meals. There have been many times when my bad attitude was almost instantly transformed when I remembered to be thankful. Try it and see how you feel. Especially if you're in a blue sort of mood. Begin to think of the things you are thankful for. Write them down. Tell someone. This is a sound recipe for having a good day!
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Jessie: "I'm thankful for Grammy Kent and Uncle Gabe and lots and lots of lizards...this many! (holding up both hands)...And for friends--Laura &Elena and Gabby & Garrett and their mom...And for little hearts and monkeys! And I'm thankful for pillows and my mom and dad and movies..."
Elena: "I'm thankful for my family and my friends. I'm also thankful for my bed, my pillows, my nice, soft, comfy blankets and my mom and dad."
Laura: "I'm thankful for my beautiful dollies and my wonderful family. And I'm very, very thankful for my wonderful friends Sophie and Maddie. And...for my wonderful Auntie Hop and Uncle Oscar...they are nice!"
Mara: "I have so very many things to be thankful for, and the more I think about it, the more I realize I have nothing to be UNthankful for! Just the fact that I exist is reason to give thanks to our Creator every moment of each day. But not only that, He also delighted to bless me with...
a husband who truly loves me (more than I could have hoped for); 4 beautiful, smart, healthy, funny children; good friends and mentors at various times in my life when I really needed them; the opportunity to hear about and receive Jesus as my Savior; a warm house; food on a daily basis; clean water; hot showers; a dishwaher (Thanks Dad and Jill!); fresh chicken eggs...this could go on forever! Oh...Let's not forget dark chocolate!...And tropical beaches!!
Luke: "I'm thankful for God's amazing creation that He's given us to enjoy! Trees, mountains, sky...the opportunity to explore it all. Basic necessities, that we take so easily for granted, available at our fingertips. Everything we need in abundance. Of course I would be remiss not to mention my amazing family! A wife far better than I ever imagined I would have--far more supportive, loving...fun. Kids that make me immensely proud. My greatest reason for thankfulness would certainly be the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. I'm thankful for America...a country that still allows us many freedoms and opportunities..."
Caleb: (He can't speak for himself yet, but I'm sure this is what he'd say)..."Mommy's milk; a mommy and daddy who love me; beautiful sisters who daily smother me with kisses!"
It occurred to me as I was reading that it might be a good idea to treat every mealtime the same way we do Thanksgiving dinner. It has become the custom of our family on Thanksgiving, before we feast, to take turns telling each other what we are all thankful for. Why not do this on a daily basis? Of course we thank God for our food when we "say Grace", but I think I'd like for us to take it a bit farther than that...to make sure everyone in the family has the opportunity each day to vocalize their thankfulness. For those of you who have seen "Madame Blueberry" (Veggie Tales), you know as well as I that "a thankful heart is a happy heart!"
We'll start doing it and let you know how it goes. Of course we can give thanks at any time...not just meals. There have been many times when my bad attitude was almost instantly transformed when I remembered to be thankful. Try it and see how you feel. Especially if you're in a blue sort of mood. Begin to think of the things you are thankful for. Write them down. Tell someone. This is a sound recipe for having a good day!
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:16-18
WHAT WE'RE THANKFUL FOR:
Jessie: "I'm thankful for Grammy Kent and Uncle Gabe and lots and lots of lizards...this many! (holding up both hands)...And for friends--Laura &Elena and Gabby & Garrett and their mom...And for little hearts and monkeys! And I'm thankful for pillows and my mom and dad and movies..."
Elena: "I'm thankful for my family and my friends. I'm also thankful for my bed, my pillows, my nice, soft, comfy blankets and my mom and dad."
Laura: "I'm thankful for my beautiful dollies and my wonderful family. And I'm very, very thankful for my wonderful friends Sophie and Maddie. And...for my wonderful Auntie Hop and Uncle Oscar...they are nice!"
Mara: "I have so very many things to be thankful for, and the more I think about it, the more I realize I have nothing to be UNthankful for! Just the fact that I exist is reason to give thanks to our Creator every moment of each day. But not only that, He also delighted to bless me with...
a husband who truly loves me (more than I could have hoped for); 4 beautiful, smart, healthy, funny children; good friends and mentors at various times in my life when I really needed them; the opportunity to hear about and receive Jesus as my Savior; a warm house; food on a daily basis; clean water; hot showers; a dishwaher (Thanks Dad and Jill!); fresh chicken eggs...this could go on forever! Oh...Let's not forget dark chocolate!...And tropical beaches!!
Luke: "I'm thankful for God's amazing creation that He's given us to enjoy! Trees, mountains, sky...the opportunity to explore it all. Basic necessities, that we take so easily for granted, available at our fingertips. Everything we need in abundance. Of course I would be remiss not to mention my amazing family! A wife far better than I ever imagined I would have--far more supportive, loving...fun. Kids that make me immensely proud. My greatest reason for thankfulness would certainly be the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. I'm thankful for America...a country that still allows us many freedoms and opportunities..."
Caleb: (He can't speak for himself yet, but I'm sure this is what he'd say)..."Mommy's milk; a mommy and daddy who love me; beautiful sisters who daily smother me with kisses!"
FIRST-TIME BLOGGER
This is my first time "blogging". I'm realizing how much I miss some friends and family, so this is my attempt to stay more connected with everyone I love. With four children (ages 6, 5, almost 3, and 3 months old), and a wonderful husband whom I dearly love (and would much rather be spending time with than staring at a computer), time will tell if my blog attempt is successful or not...
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